Master your mindset

Exercises:

1. Choose a topic: choose a topic to work on from your life, career, or as a leader. It can be anything, from choosing to eat healthy, to a relationship with your manager, to choosing your next career move, to setting priorities for your organization. Where do you want to get clarity and momentum?

2. Self-reflection #1: what do you think about this topic? Write all of your thoughts down on the topic. How is it going? What am I concerned about? What am I interested in? What do I care about? Not all of these questions may be relevant to your topic. Write down any thoughts, big or small, that come to mind.

3. Self-reflection #2: how do you feel about this topic? Are you excited, nervous, afraid to fail, ready to get going? Write down your feelings.

4. Self-reflection #3: what beliefs do you have about this topic that are helping you? What beliefs do you have about this topic that are hurting you, or holding you back? Do you believe that you will succeed? Do you believe that you will fail? What beliefs do you have? Write down your beliefs.

5. Self-reflection #4: pause and assess each belief. What is true about that belief? What is not true about that belief? What stories have you made up related to that belief? What evidence is there to support that belief? Write down your assessment.

6. Self-reflection #5: what do you want to believe? What beliefs are realistic and helpful for this topic? Write down your desired beliefs.

7. Self-reflection #6: what would it take to shift your beliefs? A change in thoughts, specific actions, or something else?

8. Design a thought pattern: design a thought/belief pattern/habit that will help you. When [action] happens, you will think [insert belief] so that [benefit]. For example, when I’m in a meeting and I want to speak up, instead of thinking that no one wants to hear my opinion, I’ll think that I have something valuable to share, so that I actually speak up in the meeting.

9. Set a practice goal: define when you’ll start practicing this new thought pattern/habit. Today? For example, I may establish that today, in my 1:1 with my manager, when she asks me detailed questions, I will not assume they are a reflection of me not doing my job, but my manager’s management style and interest in the initiative. I will proactively start to provide the level of detail she seems interested in.

10. Practice mastering your mindset: continuously practice your new thought pattern/habit until you’ve mastered your mindset on this topic. You may have to experiment with it a bit, changing the thought message/belief until it really takes hold. Keep practicing and you’ll master your mindset!

EXAMPLE

1. Choose a topic: Answer: my relationship with my manager

2. Self-reflection #1: what do you think about this topic?

   Answer: I have a good relationship with my manager, but she always asks me detailed questions about initiatives when we meet.

3. Self-reflection #2: how do you feel about this topic?

   Answer: I feel like she doesn’t think I can manage these initiatives well. I feel like she’s micromanaging me. I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job.

4. Self-reflection #3: what beliefs do you have about this topic that are helping you? What beliefs do you have about this topic that are hindering you, or holding you back?

   Answer: I believe that she thinks I’m not doing a good enough job, which is why she’s asking these questions.

5. Self-reflection: #4: pause and assess each belief. Why do you believe that? What is true about that belief? What is not true about that belief? What stories have you made up related to that belief? What evidence is there to support that belief?

   Answer: I’ve associated questions with the belief that I’m not doing good. I feel that if she trusted me, she wouldn’t ask these questions.

6. Self-reflection #5: what do you want to believe? What beliefs are realistic and helpful for this topic?

   Answer: I want to believe that she trusts me. I want to believe that asking questions is out of curiosity, not judgment.

7. Self-reflection #6: what would it take to shift your beliefs? A change in thoughts, specific actions, or something else?

   Answer: I need to change my belief around this. I also need to proactively give her the information.

8. Design a thought pattern: now, design a thought/belief pattern/habit that will help you. When [action] happens, you will think [insert belief] so that [benefit].

   Answer: when my manager asks me questions, I will think she’s curious, so that I respond with confidence and not defensiveness.

9. Set a practice goal: define when you’ll start practicing this new thought pattern/habit.

   Answer: Today, in my 1:1 with my manager, when she asks me detailed questions, I will assume she’s curious and interested in the initiative. I will also proactively start to provide the level of detail she seems interested in.

Now that you’ve mastered your mindset on this topic, move to the next lesson to clarify your vision.